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How is Pro Hoe opening up the conversation around sex in the Black community? Another part of sexual liberation is not judging yourself for things that turn you on that maybe you didnвЂ™t expect or are unconventional. ItвЂ™s growing and changing with you because what I like now is not what I liked three months ago. No one ever arrives at sexual liberation we are always evolving. Sexual liberation is about finding the confidence for yourself to express what you want. If we know that we can experience pleasure to an infinite degree, we would allow a lot less bullshit in our lives. Audre Lorde says that self-pleasure is the means of self-preservation, and I truly believe that once you know the capacity of your pleasure, it really dictates the way that you live the rest of your life.

Empathy is the best way to eradicate shame.ДЇor you to feel so free and daring and live your life to the fullest extent of pleasure. I felt like the more I shared and used the storytelling of my own sexual experiences, the more other people would feel comfortable talking about their own sexual experiences. Sometimes itвЂ™s not even about sexual pleasure itвЂ™s also about platonic pleasure in our relationships. From there, I started thinking about the shame and stigmas that are specific to the Black community when it comes to sex, sexual expression, and pleasure. That made me reflect on how I learned about sex, which was through porn and the media and never through direct conversations with my parents or my educators. When my mom told me to get the vibrator, she said she wished she would have spoken to us about sex at a much younger age. Tell me more about where the idea for Pro Hoe came from. NвЂ™diaye sat down with the Cut to talk about what sexual liberation really means, the sex-toy industry, and reinventing sexual education. So when I came across Pro Hoe on Instagram and listened to NвЂ™DiayeвЂ™s podcast, Pro Hoe, it brought me literal joy to see a space was being created for conversations around sexual wellness and decolonizing pleasure within the Black community. My sex education came from high-school friends, Cosmopolitan magazine, late-night HBO porn, and eventually by just doing it. I also never got The Sex Talk from my parents. What started as a column for The Press Magazine (no longer in circulation) led to a podcast and community events sponsored by Planned Parenthood, sex therapists, and social workers to create a safe place to discuss sexual experiences and trauma. The intention behind Pro Hoe is вЂњto eradicate stigmas surrounding sexual freedom and identity in Black communities,вЂќ says NвЂ™diaye. (WeвЂ™ll get back to this in a sec.)ДЇrom her motherвЂ™s slightly shady Christmas gift, NвЂ™diaye began to reflect on her lack of early education when it came to sex, which led to the creation of Pro Hoe in 2018. Her mother knew she was single and not having regular sex. She was living the life sheвЂ™d trained all her life for, then her true calling came to her a few years ago, when she was home for Christmas and her mother told her to go on Amazon and buy a vibrator. Jones and Kyle Abraham and working with musicians like Robert Glasper. After attending New York University Tisch School of the Arts, she toured the world dancing with choreographers like Bill T. Being onstage made her feel the most at home, the most connected to her body it made her feel powerful enough to show others who she wanted to be in that moment.

As a kid, born and raised in Denver, Colorado, NвЂ™diaye learned storytelling and how to express herself through dance. вЂњWe didnвЂ™t talk about sex in our household,вЂќ Penda NвЂ™diaye, the founder of Pro Hoe, shares over coffee in the garden of a Brooklyn coffee shop. Photo-Illustration: by The Cut Photo: Jacques Manga/ Courtesy of Penda NвЂ™diaye

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